試譯：〈腐胔之慰藉〉傑瑞德·曼利·霍普金斯【Carrion Comfort－Gerard Manley Hopkins】 淺白

腐胔之慰藉　　傑瑞德·曼利·霍普金斯（試譯：淺白）
 
不，我絕不；無乃腐胔之慰藉，絕望，我絕不以汝為食；
毋已令——怎鬆垮也好——這身內最後幾根的、人性的絡絲
即從此解拆開；又或最最疲竭的，泣叫：我再也不能了。我能的；
能作點甚麼，希想、盼望來日，而非選擇不復存在。
 
但祢，啊，爾其可怖者，爾何故粗礪待我，就此履我
以此震轢生世之右踵？以這獅足般的巨肢？且眈眈細視
以深黯、彷欲吞噬的眼神，我那瘀損的骨骸；更搧之
以連番的暴風，使我匍匐、癱廢於此；當我已千方百計、遠避爾之威如？
 
為了甚麼？是為了我粗糠得以飛揚；而穀粒沉澱，純然而明白。
為了在那諸等困苦、諸種逆亂之中，因我（似乎）曾吻了棒子，
或祂的手，我心能有所察見：舔得的力、竊獲的喜悅，並將展顏、喝彩。
但向誰呢？是那以天聖般手法揮擲我、踐踏我的英靈？抑或
是那敢與衪奮抗的自己？是哪一個？抑或兩個也是？畢竟在那一夜、那一年，如今
已成過去的黑暗裏與我這可憐人摔跤較力的（啊神！）乃是我的神啊。
 
8/8/2024初稿

 
Carrion Comfort
By Gerard Manley Hopkins
 
Not, I'll not, carrion comfort, Despair, not feast on thee;
Not untwist — slack they may be — these last strands of man
In me ór, most weary, cry I can no more. I can;
Can something, hope, wish day come, not choose not to be.
 
But ah, but O thou terrible, why wouldst thou rude on me
Thy wring-world right foot rock? lay a lionlimb against me? scan
With darksome devouring eyes my bruisèd bones? and fan,
O in turns of tempest, me heaped there; me frantic to avoid thee and flee?
 
  Why? That my chaff might fly; my grain lie, sheer and clear.
Nay in all that toil, that coil, since (seems) I kissed the rod,
Hand rather, my heart lo! lapped strength, stole joy, would laugh, chéer.
Cheer whom though? the hero whose heaven-handling flung me, fóot tród
Me? or me that fought him? O which one? is it each one? That night, that year
Of now done darkness I wretch lay wrestling with (my God!) my God.
 
1885
 
Note:

“I have after long silence written two sonnets, which I am touching: if ever anything was written in blood one of these was.”
-Hopkins’ letter to Robert Bridges, May 17, 1885.

2024年11月24日攝於主教山配水庫。